so tired...

dear ex-boyfriend,

i DO NOT want to have brunch with you.

i will not brunch in a box, with a fox, or in a house, with a mouse. i will not brunch with you here, or there, i will not brunch with you ANYWHERE!

thanks,
g

friday!!

if the "powers that be" didn't want me watching tv at work, they wouldn't have put the office on hulu...

not my fault.

happy weekend!
xoxo
g

if Internet-Stalking (NOT to be confused with ACTUAL stalking) weren't a human right, google never would have been developed.

thanks.
xoxo
g

dear world,

"word" is NOT an appropriate response. especially if i'm pissed at you and you're trying to pretend that i'm not.
ever.

thanks.
xoxo
g

Dear Girl on Subway Sitting Across From Me,

FYI-- if you weigh more than 100 pounds and are wearing a flouncy micro-mini, please do not cross your legs whilst sitting. I do not need proof that you are not wearing undergarments nor do I need to see the stretch marks on your outer thighs. ewww.

Thanks much.
xoxo
g

From "Girls of Riyadh" by Rajaa Alsenea

Those who want us, our souls resent them
And those whom we want, fate refuses to give us.

-Norah Al-Hawshan
(A female Saudi Poet.)

more coming soon from me!

cheers,
v

"things have been awkward and weird for a while now" are never the words a gal wants to hear...

but what can you do...
le sigh.

HAPPY 4th of July!!!
xoxo
g

dear boy,

if you weren't so freaking HOT, and if your hair didn't fall just-so, i would absolutely hate you.

so do me a favor and surprise me?? please?

xoxo
g

at what point does advanced planning negate the “accidental” part of “accidentally running into someone”???

and can i help it if i plan ahead? i would prefer to “accidentally” run into someone when I look fantastic, rather than ACTUALLY accidentally run into someone when i’m on my way back from the gym/grocery store/errands etc. and i'm in running tights and a sweaty t/sweats/look like crap.

xoxo
g

I woke up in the middle of the night and his arm was strewn across my neck, not across my body like it sometimes is, but ACROSS MY NECK. And the dead weight of his arm made it difficult to breathe, and I coughed, and tried to move his arm, but he couldn't be moved. and he kept sleeping.

Le sigh -- the perfect metaphor. His insecurity and adoration, which I originally found cute, because, well, quite frankly, who DOESN’T want to be adored has shifted to just plain neediness. which is most definitely NOT cute.

It’s turned toward possessiveness, to a constant need to be with me, and hold onto me in some way, like if he doesn’t, I’ll run away.

To quote an old professor of mine, “there is something about the way that he holds my waist like a corset, a too-tight belt…”

It’s suffocating me.

LITERALLY.

Which sucks, because I really do like the boy, but his attractiveness is PLUMETING by the second…

Le sigh…

xoxo
g

UGH!

dear ex-boyfriend,

if you say you still love me and i don't respond, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
if you say you want to get back together and i stare at you blankly and look really uncomfortable, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
thanks.
xoxo
g

You again?

Dude.

... DUDE.

So yeah, I've been seeing Rocket Scientist quite a bit. In a sort of "sad-that-I'm-leaving-but-we'll-make-the-best-of-it-even-though-he-doesn't-know-I'm-not-that-into-it-kind-of-way."

Oh yeah, I'm leaving the city, and moving on to the next city for Grad School. This is exciting.

BUT.

In a completely different subject... I went out for drinks with an old acquaintance from college. I use that word because... he was really a friend of a friend of a friend. He comes here fairly regularly on business. He's 23 and he's briefing a fairly prominent Agency on computer security. He's kind of a big deal. But a cool kid, very smart, and moving to the same city as me very soon. Always good to network.

So. I don't really know if we're on a date or not. I assume we are because he pays for everything.

But before I can assess this, we are deciding which bar to go to - the Irish pub, or the Microbrewery with 100000 different kinds of beer. We go with the microbrewery, get carded, and as I walk in, I run STRAIGHT into Owen.

OWEN!?!?!?!? Owen who I have hung out with twice in my life. Owen, who i stayed up hours upon hours into the morning talking about everything under the sun. Owen, who texted me constantly for a few weeks, usually resulting in NOTHING, and infuriated me beyond belief. Owen, who I FINALLY met up with for a second time, smoked tons of cigarettes, hung out in the random tent he set up in his loft bedroom, and then took a 4am candlelit bubble bath while smoking even MORE cigarettes before retiring to further shenanigans I was barely awake enough to entertain.

Owen.

Fuck. That. Guy.

Owen got deleted from my phone. Owen got defriended from facebook.

Fuck. Owen.

I'm with my date, and he obviously senses something is up from the staredown he just witnessed between Owen and myself. Literally, I said NOTHING to the guy. We saw each other, recognized we knew each other, I kind of glared at him, and then walked straight to the back of the HUGE bar we were in.

Moments later, I got a text from him. Yeah, I deleted his number, but I KNEW it was him. All it said was "Trouble."

I waited until my date was in the bathroom, or elsewhere (hey - i didn't want to be the dick who was texting on her cell phone all night... though after texting two of my besties the news of seeing O, I was obviously blowing up thenceforth.) and responded with "you again."

And then heard nothing from him the rest of the night. What a douche. Though part of me wants to think that if he wanted to meet up, I'd tell him to eff himself. And another part of me thinks that I'd have ditched the new guy and met up with the asshole.... because that was some intense shit that you don't just forget so easily. UGGGHHHH..

So then I had to explain, in moderation and with major editing, the circumstances of my relationship with that guy. Because not everyone gets the death stare and walk-away without some sort of explanation.

God I wish O wasn't such a gameplayer. What a jerk.

... Why do I want to see him again immediately?

til next time,

-v

yuckity-yuck

setting:
double-date dinner with 2 of my friends (bf & gf), and my date, henceforward called “date”, because yes, I really AM that creative... bf and gf are good friends of mine was super excited to do the double-date thing since i had scrounged up a date that i had been out with a bunch of times before so it wouldn’t be awkward.

story:
gf and i head to the restaurant since bf is stuck in traffic coming in from nj, while date comes in from one of those boroughs to which i generally do not travel...

outside the cheap, yet trendy thai restaurant i run into 2 of my coworkers, which is a combination of “good to see you (because i actually like them)’ and “wow, kinda awkward to see you out in the real world”... but anyway, they go inside, we go inside, and we’re both put at tables on opposite ends of the restaurant (but not without an annoyed look from the hostess when we inform her we need a table for 4 since 2 more will be joining us shortly...)

we sit down and i can’t help but notice that 2 out of the 3 people DIRECTLY next to us look awfully familiar… turns out one of the guys was in a bunch of college dance classes with me, but from where did I know the other??? and then CRAP! yes, ladies and gentlemen, i hooked up/went out once with the guy sitting less than 5 feet from me. super.

but it gets better. this particular guy took me on 2 dates. this 1st date was kinda bad, but i gave him another shot, which he promply blew by trying to come home with me and not taking "no" very well. he then he proceeded to STALK me for the next month or so, actually earning the nickname “stalker S____”… so needless to say, i was NOT pleased to see him. so i ignored him and avoided eye contact. but when he got up to leave, i was reaching into my purse hanging over my chair and… CRAP! eye contact! NOOOO!!!

he says “hey” and i politely acknowledge him, and he starts to chat and tries to reach down and hug me. so i stand up (rather artfully avoiding the hug) and also smile at the dancer boy who smiles back. so, attempting to end this conversation say “ok, well good to see you, better get back to my food” and try to sit down. but i guess, in his world, that’s just woman-speak for “keep talking to me”

because he says, and i quote:
“yeah, well, i’m sure you’re on a date right now, but can i get your number?”
and pulls out his iphone and unlocks it, waiting…

my totally agog response?!
“good to see you, maybe i’ll see you around.”
and i promptly sit back down.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!? i mean, who the hell asks for a woman’s number WHILE she’s on a date?!?! especially one who’s CLEARLY not interested… and if you don’t have my number, i probably want it that way…

luckily my date wasn’t put off by the whole thing and we all had a good laugh.
end of story.

or so i thought...

the next day i checked my email and had a facebook message from him – a message sent the night before! which means he came home and immediately messaged me . ewwww… i mean, can this guy not take a hint?!? it’s really no big deal since i just ignored the message, but then i had to deal with messages from him again and again over the next few days.

so there are 2 options:
1) he honestly didn't get that i wasn't interested (which would make him an absolute IDIOT! and i know the guy might be lame, but not that dumb)
2) he really thought that he could, by mere persistence, score another date. (fyi: baaaad idea...)

either way, YUCK. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK! if i'm not responding to you, and i don't look happy to see you, I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

where is the "she's just not that into you" edition??? apparently guys can be just as clueless...

xoxo
g

i'm a huge fan of dating...

i repeat: when did men become the new women???

why do they think the only options are "relationship" or "friends with benefits" ???

what happened to good old-fashioned dating?!?!?! dating is perfect -- it allows you too see someone (as casually as you/they want) while still being able to see other people as well.

no gets too attached, no one gets hurt, and it allows you to actually determine how much you like the person before jumping into anything.

xoxo
g

what is it about that which you cannot have that makes it all the more appealing?
why can't we want what we have, and not what we can't???


the only thing more confusing than all that is the fact that it snowed in new york this morning. i thought it was april... wtf?!?!!?

xoxo
g

stories

I'm a sucker for good love stories. 

I really wanted the sassy artsy redhead and the British Rocket Scientist to work out.  I wanted to see how the rest of that story played out.  It would have been a classic tale of how left-brained and right-brained opposites attract.  I wanted him to take her to dinner and tell her about what he was doing on the cutting edge of aeronautic cryogenics.  I wanted him to go to all of her improv shows, and support her work in the theater.  I wanted each to marvel at and support the others' passions which would both fascinate and frighten them.  I wanted them to go on dates and fall in love... maybe get married and have two weddings - one in New York and one in London.   Give their (brilliant) kids the opportunity to go to Oxford or Juilliard... MIT or Tisch.  

But... that's ridiculous.  Because these are real people.  And stories are just stories.  And even when things are in your control - that X factor, that spark - is either there or it isn't.

random thoughts...

*just because you CAN wear it doesn't mean you SHOULD...

*just because it fits, doesn't mean it fits well...

xoxo
g

yay

so today will officially be known as the day i got into the program i wanted at the grad school i wanted... nand not the day i picked up my shit from my ex's place.


grad school so totally trumps loser ex-bf!

YAY!

life is good.

xoxo
g

sentimental ramblings...

in my head i had thought about running into him a thousand times. and in my head, i was wearing the perfect outfit, my hair was actually cooperating for once, and my makeup looked simultaneously sexy and casual.

when i ran into him, he would hug me hello and his hand would gently caress the small of my back as i pulled away, just like he used to. (and because my perfect outfit involved a shirt with a spliced open back, his hand would find my bare back.)

we would talk, and catch up, and i would instantly remember how amazing he is, and also how wonderfully modest and laid back.

and he would do that thing where a guy puts his arm around you and pulls you into his side, and you just sort of fold into his chest before you pull away.

and he would tease me, and i would tease him right back.

i never thought that when i actually did run into him, everything would actually go exactly like that.
EXACTLY like that.
well, except for the part where there was a lot less pulling away, and a lot more making plans to see each other again.

xoxo,
g

when did guys become the new girls???

when did guys start telling each other EVERYTHING?!?!? i mean, i know that girls do it all the time, but we at least PRETEND that we don’t. We would NEVER let our friends admit to the guy that we've been talking about them!

backstory:

i sent Cute (see a previous post) a facebook message to say hi/sorry for all the drama/let me know if you want to grab a drink sometime, and he responded. a few messages went back and forth, the gist of them being that we would get a drink sometime at the end of this week. yay!

but alas. today i started getting texts from Kicks about it, totally fishing for information and letting me know that he knew i had contacted Cute. he also seemed to think that Cute and i had definite plans tonight and he totally invited himself along (weird...)

ugh. i just really don't want to or deserve to be grilled by the BFF. and more importantly, if i’m even going to THINK about going on a date with someone or starting ANYTHING, then i need to know i’m starting it with YOU, not you, your BFF, and his GF...

there are few things LESS attractive than a guy who can’t keep his mouth shut.

so sad, because Cute, you have officially become Not Cute.

so sad.
xoxo
g

unanswered phone calls/text messages have approximately the same shelf-life as sushi -- 24 hours.

happy st. patrick's day!

ps. dear girl on subway,
putting pretty makeup on does not erase the lime green jumpsuit with brown uggs.
i dont care that it's st. patrick's day.
thanks.

xoxo
g

nothing good happens after 2am...

names have been changed to protect the innocent... and the not so innocent...

saturday night rolls around and after the syracuse game (tear!) i head downtown to meet my friend Kicks (because he has the best kicks in the planet!), his GF, and his best friend, Cute, are at a Bday party at one of those super trendy bars in the lower east side that doesn’t have a sign and is impossible to find. i’m still bummed from the syracuse loss, but i go anyway, and i finally find it.

i walk in, say hi to Kicks and GF and everything is fine. then GF wanders off and Kicks goes after her. so i’m left standing in a crowd of 20 drunk girls whose main concern was taking a photo cute enough for facebook. (sidenote: if you are worried about that, you probably should have taken it earlier when you all weren’t such drunk messes!)

so, i go over to say hi to Cute, who is sitting off to the side, and we start chatting. (now i should probably mention, for the sake of full disclosure, that i’ve met Cute a bunch of times before, and quite frankly, think he’s cute. simple as that. he’s cute, but we’re also becoming friends because of our mutual friend, Kicks. and i've been nervous about making a move because of said mutual friend.) so we’re talking, blah blah blah. how are you? what have you been up to? blah blah blah.

and the next thing i know, GF is yelling at me to come over. she actually yells at me to come over to hers, and then she walks over, grabs my hand, and drags me away.

because apparently, Bday girl wants to hook up with Cute. and i am not allowed to talk to him. (i think her words were something along the lines of “Bday girl is trying to hook up with Cute. So you can’t talk to him!” and then she pushes (LITERALLY PUSHES!) Bday girl over to Cute.

yeah.
time to go.
i don’t need bitchy drunk-girl drama.

i find Kicks, tell him that i’m heading home and that it was great to see him. he stops me and tells me that he, GF, and Cute are all leaving too and I should cab with them. I try to just get the hell of out there, but quite frankly, cabs are expensive, and all 4 of us live within 10 blocks of each other.

so i agree to leave with them. it was a bad decision, but it made sense at the time.

so we finally get GF peeled away from all her drunk-ass friends and we head outside where GF proceeds to whine at Cute about why he’s not going home with Bday girl because “omigawd! you really should!”

so we’re waiting for a cab and i can’t help but think – if Cute wanted to, he could have totally gone home with BDay girl. but quite frankly, he looked pretty damn uncomfortable when GF pushed Bday girl at him.

so we grab a cab. and there are 4 of us. so i, trying to be magnanimous, offer to sit up front. and Cute immediately says “i think it needs to be one of those 4 people in the back of a cab kind of nights!” i try to offer again (it’s a long ride and i don’t want to cramp people) but Cute reiterates it and says “come on” and then smiles at me. so of course i hop my cute butt in the back of the cab.

and we’re off!

and i can’t help but notice that Cute’s leg is pressed right up against mine. and he’s not moving it. and i can’t help but think that maybe i’m reading way way way too much into it, but maybe, just maybe, he actually WANTED to sit next to me in the cab... maybe...

so Cute and i start talking and pretty soon GF starts in on Cute again – insisting that he start texting her. now, i’m not exactly one to take my advice from tv shows, but i must give a shout-out to “how i met your mother” – if it’s after 2am, go home! nothing good happens after 2am. and interestingly enough, Cute seems to agree with what’s flying around in my head. he politely declines and tries to change the subject. which does not go well. GF is pissed. she starts in on him – why won’t he text her...it’s her bday...blah blah.

and then, i just can’t help it. i laugh. now, it’s not one of those out-loud, rolling on the floor, can’t contain yourself laughs. it’s merely a closed-mouth chuckle. and i’m not laughing AT Cute, and I’m not laughing AT GF. ok, maybe i AM laughing at GF. but it’s funny. i find her dedication to this to be hillarious.

and then she flips the F out. tells me to shut up, tells Kicks that i’m bitchy, and really annoying her, and that i have “no idea of the whole story” (i can’t help but think that the whole story is that, at the end of the night, Cute DID NOT want to go home with Bday girl. end of story.)

Kicks is trying to get her to quiet down and Cute is mumbling something that sounds apologetic. and finally GF shuts up and we have quiet for the remaining 60 blocks and i just stare out the window. and i’m actually pretty upset. i don’t hang out with people who bitch each other out and crazy drunk girls who think they’re in the middle of some bad reality tv show. this is just not my scene (thank god!)

so we finally get uptown and all pile out of the cab and GF immediately walks aways and starts yapping on her cell, giving me the death-glare. ugh. so i say goodnight to Kicks (who apologizes profusely) and he goes to GF to get her drunk-ass home.

and all of a sudden, it's just Cute and me.

and he starts walking, and i start walking, and Cute is being really nice. and i can’t help but think (and maybe i’m reading way way way too much into this) that in his “i’m so sorry, that was crazy...blah blah blah... she always thinks she can control my life...blah blah blah... i’m so sorry…) that maybe, just maybe, he might be interested in me. (i know it’s a stretch, but i can wonder, right?)

so we finally get to his door and it’s sorta awkward in a “well, this is me” sort of way (he actually says that – it’s cute.) so i thank him for being so nice, and he gives me a hug (yay!).

and all of a sudden i’m all smiley and happy and really don’t give a crap about the crazy girl. because Cute just hugged me. yay.

xoxo

g

direct quote

(direct quote)

"Hey. Its [guy I hooked up with recently]. Just wanted to say thanks for the other night. Had alot of fun. I was hoping we could be freinds, and try to keep it just freinds while not having it be akward. If thats cool"

*Just a thought: if you can't SPELL friends, I don't know if we can BE friends."

Buy a dictionary and learn to spell!
thanks.

xoxo
g

Boy Screening Application

Height ____ (taller than me)

Weight ____ (heavier than me)

Hair Color ____

Eye Color ____

Age_____ (Over 21 and under 25-30 years younger than my dad)

Sex at birth ____ 

Short Answer (200 words or less)

1) Do you own a cell phone

2) Do you know how to use it properly?

3) Are you adept at texting?

4) Do you use needless abbreviations involving numbers and misspellings?

5) Are you still in love with your ex? (if yes, please stop here)

6) Do you own a passport? 

a) Have you used it?

7) Do you have a job?

8) Do you live on your own or with your parents?

9) Would you describe yourself or your friends as "racist"?

10) Do you consider yourself religious?

11) Briefly describe your academic endeavors.

12) Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

13) Briefly describe your political beliefs.

a) Do you believe in global warming?

14) Discuss your weekly alcohol intake and general tolerance.

Essays (800-100 words each)

1)  In way ways do you believe you are qualified for this position?

2) Are you interested in advancing with this company?

3) Discuss your reliability, callback response ethic, and idea on an accelerating scale of how much time you can dedicate to this job.

Additions welcome :)  (use the comment link at the bottom of the post)

cheers,

v

if you can't be bothered to call me, i can't be bothered to sleep with you.

xoxo,
g

found object:
undeveloped roll of film. probably from college.

excellent.

xoxo
g

random thoughts...

"hanging" is not a date

2 is not to (or too, for that matter) and nite is not night

therefore, asking if i want to "hang 2nite" means you will not see me because "2nite" DOES NOT EXIST!

thanks.

xoxo
g

Better than Counting Sheep

Sometimes, when I can't fall asleep at night, I like to picture all previous ex-boyfriends and hookups in the same room together.  Like they were sent some mysterious message by a higher power to show up at that exact place and time without further explanation.  Refreshments would be served, and they'd kind of mill about the room sizing one another up, and making small talk.  It's not really a fantasy, more like an amusement.

My best friend, John, would figure it out first.  Yes.  My current guy best friend and I dated briefly (I count him as a half-relationship since it was half-hearted on both our parts).  But he's seen me through many a break-up, received many a tearful phone call, and listened to more than his share of "you'll never believe where I ended up this weekend" stories.  He knows what's what.  

After an improv show last week, while getting drinks at a nearby bar, this little vision just about came true.  At least for the gentlemen I've been involved with in some capacity in the last few months.  Silly facebook invites.  They all decided to come.  Paul lives in another city, and happened to be in town for work.  Nathan actually got off work early from his big brainy-sciencey job to come.  John was in the show with me (though, let's be clear, we've been just-friends for a good two years now).  Logan may or may not be interested - that's up for debate.  But he definitely wants to be friends, and seems interested in hanging out, at the very least.  And Peter, who may or may not actually like me, but everyone TELLS me he likes me (do I sound thirteen yet?) was ALSO there.  

John pretty much stood back with our other good friend from college and LAUGHED at me, as the scene unfolded.  Don't get me wrong, I am a WHORE for attention, and try very hard to draw the line there.  But this was a little bit beyond my control.  To be fair, and somewhat modest - things with Paul and I are over, and we're just friends now.  I hope.  Things with Nathan are kind of sporadic.  He works a lot, and I've been out of town a lot.  

Actually, Nathan and Logan became VERY good friends.  They actually exchanged numbers... which I thought was a little bit adorable, but then complicated things.  Like in case I  maybe start to like Logan a little bit better than Nathan.  But Nathan is british.  See how hard this is?  

Ideally, when juggling boys, they start out as strangers, and they STAY strangers.  Stupid improv, and stupid facebook.  I didn't expect them all to show up in the same place!  Shame on me... 

Cheers,

v

theory: if you can't think of anything more interesting to say to me than "so, how do you know [insert mutual friend's name here]?" then you deserve what you get.

recently, after answering said lame-ass question perhaps 15 different times, i told a bunch of people (at a friend's bday party) that i met said friend at a summer camp run by the CIA that was sorta a "so you wanna be an spy/agent?" kind of thing. i told them we both just sorta went because we thought it would be cool and wanted to be spies but realized we couldn't hack the extreme lifestyle. everyone just bought it. some of them even started asking questions about the camp. it was hilarious.

i think they thought if i was wearing pearls, that i was an upstanding citizen and therefore not lying.
OR they were too busy staring at my rack to notice what i was saying.

either way, hilarity ensued.

xoxo
g

i don't care how cool you think you are, green acid wash jeans are NEVER the answer to an outfit...

xoxo
g

Why.

Answer me this - 

Why, when there is a perfectly sane, funny, smart, attractive boy totally into me, do I find 8,000 reasons why I can't date him. (one of them being distance.  That's legit, right?)

While at the SAME TIME, am totally enamored with a boy I've seen twice in the last five months.  (With whom I obviously think I have an amazingly deep personal connection that transcends time and space.)

Duh, V.  If he REALLY liked you, he'd CALL you.  My life is an even WORSE episode of Sex and the City.  Except with startlingly little of the former.

cheers,

v

weekend

ok, so last friday i went to the bulgarian bar downtown with a bunch of my girlfriends. had tons of fun and danced a lot, sweated a lot (i had forgotten how hot it gets there. eek!) and drank some yummy white sangria -- delightfully refreshing!

i also received a fantastic compliment! (no, for real, it was great!)

so i spot this cute dj boy downstairs and decide he needs to notice me. (i was kinda bummed because the cute drummer boy from upstairs had left after his band's set. boo! i mean come on, did you not notice the 5 hot chicks dancing in front of you?!? lame...)

ANYWAY!
so i positon myself artfully in his sight line and start dancing away. and pretty soon his (kinda cute) dj friend pops down and takes my hand and just starts dancing with me

and he's a FANTASTIC dancer. yay to that. i had almost forgotten what it's like to dance with someone who actually knows how to dance and can actually LEAD.

so we're salsa-ing all over the place and he's spinning me so fast i have to spot so i don't fall over (thank you ballet classes!)

and at one point he asks me, in a delicious accent, where i'm from and i say "here, i live here"

and then he says it...

"wow, you dance like someone who wasn't born in the states."

at which point i lean back and laugh and just let him lead me around for a little while longer.

xoxo
g

today, without even knowing it, in 2 cities, 200 miles apart, 2 friends sat down and had the exact same lunch.

and it was gooood....

dear ex-boyfriend,

if you broke up with me, you no longer have the right to comment on my facebook status.

and furthermore, you are not allowed to call me by the acronym that my initials produce.

thank you,
g

Little Drops of Rain, Whisper of the Pain

Outwardly, I'm kind of cynical.  Ok, I'm REALLY cynical.  Skeptical.  Sarcastic.  Snarky, at times.

It's a classic protectionary front to cover up that soft gooey sensitive romantic inside.  I roll my eyes at romantic comedies because they serve as the modern day fairy tale: unrealistic though painfully formulaic but I still watch them.

Joke's on me, I guess.  Because I seem to be caught right in the middle of some twisted version of When Harry Met Sally.  

An ex-boyfriend from four years ago has recently gotten in touch (see the post "I'm Gonna Write You a Letter. I'm gonna Write you a Book.") and informed me that he's changed a ton since we split, and wants me back in his life.  WHAT?!    Heavy insinuations that maybe we could try again if I happened to move to his city for grad school (where I AM applying, but STILL).  

And I'm not in that place right now.  I've had two and a half very serious relationships (we'll discuss the half at a later point...) since him.  I've graduated college, moved out of my parents' house, gotten several jobs, lived on my own... I'm not the same person anymore.  And don't get me started on the long line of people who would be outside my house, ready to kick my ass if I ever even considered it.

The thing is... part of me is totally heartbroken over it.  Because this is Ben.  He flew across an ocean to be with me when we weren't even dating.  He's "a real sucker for a grand sweeping gesture."  In his words,  "I burn bridges and then I swim across rivers.  Once you're in my life, you're in my life."  And part of me wants so badly to get caught up in the romanticism of it all.  What a great story!  What an epic adventure!  It's cinematic, it's drama.  It's everything I typically gravitate towards in life.  

  But I was there when we made out a little a few weeks ago.  I was present and in that moment... and I can say... that I didn't really feel that much.  The spark is gone.  I haven't been sitting around for three and a half years thinking, "Damn, if only Ben and I could get back together.  We could really make it work."  or even "I'll always be in love with Ben."  Not that it doesn't take two to wreck a relationship, but I definitely place most of the blame on him.  And he places the blame on himself.  The timing was shitty, our lives were too different, and compromise was an incomprehensible and strange Japanese-sounding word to him.  So he has a lot of regret... and hasn't had another relationship of that caliber since.  And... maybe has reached a rough point in life, and wants to fix something.

I don't know. 

It's a lot of details.  A lot of little things adding up to this crazy out of the blue scenario.  I should totally forget about it, and be firm.  But what can I say?  I've always had a soft spot for B.  I want him to be happy.  I just don't think that dating me for the THIRD TIME around will make him happy.  At least not in the long run.

cheers,

v

oscars

thoughts on the oscars...

hmmm.. what to say...

i was so unbelievably bored at times that i began channel surfing. LUCKILY there was an ANTM marathon on and i tuned in just in time for the “YOU HAD SEX?!?! You had sex?!? You stupid bitch!” phone call from season 2. ahh.. quality television.

hugh jackman was great, but there weren’t really any big moments this year. the closest thing was when winslet won and her father whistled so she knew where he was. everything else was just kinda... blah. sean penn had some great comments (and looked great, too!)

felt bad for jennifer aniston who had to stare down brangelina as she presented. now come on, that’s just not fair. presenting has gotta be nerve-racking enough, you shouldn’t have to stare down your ex and his wife. (but i will say, i was happy to see them in classic “them” outfits. aniston in a strapless champagne with her natural and wavy “i just stepped off the beach and yet my hair looks PERFECT” hair. and jolie in her rocks the size of those kids from mumbai paired with the closest thing she’s gotten to a vampy dress in years. if you’ve got that many tats, show ‘em off!

and i must say... rob pattison smolders... he actually smolders.
(BUT the shot of him sitting behind mickey rourke looking exactly the same as rourke was just plain creepy. same body positioning, same look on the face.... not a good thing my friend, not a good thing. you do NOT want to be mickey rourke. if your face gets busted, you’re done. smoldering really is your only skill.)

onto a VERY brief bit on the fashions of the night...

Yay!
Megan Mylan’s dress rocked. simple, classic and beautiful. i think my absolute favorite of the night.
**for those of you who don’t remember her, she won for best short doc. (“smile pinky”).
kate winslet --a little too blonde/tan for my taste, but she still looked stunning. and even more stunning standing up there grabbing her oscar.
reese witherspoon – in rodarte. and we all know i LOVE the winter Rodarte line (see a previous post for more info). i know a lot didn't like it, but i did. so there!
taraji henson – see also: “white, layers, and train DONE RIGHT!”
penelope cruz- see also: “vintage, couture DONE RIGHT!”

Yuck!
SJP– you are not a bride nor are you prom queen. At your age, you look ridiculous. Grow the F up please.
jessica biel—it’s the oscars for cryin out loud! get a haircut!
heidi klum. what did coco say? “before you leave the house take off 1 piece” – she should’ve taken off 5... and i just didn't really like the dress either. at least not for the oscars.
miley cyrus – aka "slutty sells seashells by the seashore"-- honey, that gown should’ve stayed ON THE RACK.
vanessa what’s her face – you ARE NOT barbie in the spotlight.
anne hathaway-- kinda love her but... i just wasn’t feeling it. looked a little too fishy and way washed out. she's way prettier than that.

ok, that's it for now, when i think of more thoughts i'll let you know.

xoxo
g

last weekend, while having drinks with someone we started talking about woody allen’s manhattan.

all the usual stuff... it’s a classic, i love it, blah blah blah.

so last night i decided to watch it. and i’ll be damned.. i really do love that movie.

love love love the first few minutes. completely chock-full of great lines.

“He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. Uh, no. Make that: He romanticized it all out of proportion."

“I think the essence of art is to provide a kind of working-through situation, so that you can get in touch with feelings you didn't know you had”

and it just keeps going from there.
i had almost forgotten how much i love that movie...

thanks woody allen, thanks.

xoxo
g

quick question...
how many little black dresses is too many??
can one HAVE too many?

xoxo
g

triskadecaphobia

quite a few years ago (how many, i will not say) i turned 13. on a friday. on a friday the 13th, actually.
and it was fantastic.
and since then 13 has always been pretty good too me.

and today i got to have lunch with 2 friends i've known since grade school. love catching up with old friends.

so happy friday the 13th everyone.

have a great weekend.
don't do anything i wouldn't do...

xoxo
g

FB

I do love Facebook.  And I agree with G.  There should be a certain level of ... formality involved in an ask-out.  Facebook walls and messages (though the latter would be more acceptable) are no forum for date-making.

That said... do you ever find yourself staring at someone's profile wishing they were slightly more interesting?  I find myself thinking... Why don't you have more telling wall-posts?  Better pictures?  Friends whose profiles I'm allowed to see even though they aren't my friend and not even in my network.  I want to read the other side of these conversations!  Why isn't your work info, and college graduation year listed?  What year were you born?  And why hasn't anything been happening on your profile for the past few days?  I check it because I'm looking for entertainment!  

:sigh:

I probably just need a new job to hold my attention.  

cheers,

-v

Q: when did it become socially acceptable to ask people out via facebook? everyone seems to be getting asked out by these wall-posting message-sending guys! what happened to a phone call? is it really too much to ask? would it kill you to pick up a phone? and it’s not just facebook. it’s the texting and emailing too. a 5 minute phone call could sort out all the details that an entire day’s worth of back-and-forth messaging accomplishes. sorry, but i have better things to do with my time... as i’m sure you do too.

you'll kiss her but you won't call her?
lame...
come on guys, step up to the plate.

xoxo
g

trouble on the train...

Tuesday morning.
My alarm doesn’t go off so I’m already 45 minutes late for work.
Super.

I finally get my sluggish ass on the subway and am 1 stop away from work when i am informed that my local train is now an express train. i repeat: super.

trying to side-step around the rather large man in front of me i offer up an “excuse me”. no response, i offer up a slightly louder and more assertive “excuse me” while making forward movement to the doors.

and then

WHAM!
SMACK!
and i take a rather large elbow to my face/jaw. OWW.

the man turns around, looks me dead in the eye and laughs. no “are you ok?”, no apology, nothing! just laughter.

stunned into silence i can already feel the tears threatening to spill and my jaw throbbing. “stand clear of the closing doors please” sets me into a panic. I’m already late for work so i sort of stumble out of the car and onto the platform. i can see him staring at me through the doors laughing as people around him just stare. at him, at me, at the absurdity of it all.

i mean, when did it become funny to slam a woman in the face?! when did it no longer even require an apology? that’s crap! and maybe i’m crazy, but that seems like something unfortunately typical of new york. its just disgusting --only in new york would the guy turn around and LAUGH while everyone just stands there staring at their starbucks.

ugh...
i love my city and all, but sometimes it makes me want to make like baz lurhman and "live in new york city once, but leave before it makes you hard"

ugh...
g

I'm Gonna Write You A Letter... I'm Gonna Write You A Book...

Ben and I dated for three years ... with a nice healthy seven month break in the middle for me to go to Ireland, and for him to learn how to be a better boyfriend.  It was complicated and emotional.  When it was good it was great.  And when it was bad... well, ya know.

He was in town, and asked to stay with me one night of his trip.  Thinking that we were past all the romance and break up drama, and in all essence, “buds,” I agreed. 

As any outsider might have predicted, there were some shenanigans of sorts when he was here.  Completely unexpected and accidental.  I was actually sick as a dog – coughing up lungs left and right – so in my half-asleep stupor, I’m not totally sure what I said afterwards.  But he got offended and went to sleep on the couch.  We didn’t say much about it the next morning, and went our separate ways.  Meaning he left, and I stayed in bed with the ebola virus I had somehow acquired.

That background info is necessary because a few days later, we had a huge talk (online, how mature) about how he never really put me in the past, and how he’s now realized and understood everything I  was telling him then, but he wasn’t digesting at the time.  I guess the whole thing gave me some peace of mind... but so many years later it’s kind of like “Well... ok cool.  Thanks for keeping me posted...”  We made no further plans to get back together or anything. 

So we send each other the occasional friendly text.  He’s a good 8 hours away, driving from me, and wants me to come visit at some point.  Which I think I will.  I have family near him and will be interviewing for grad schools up there as well. 

He told me today that he wrote me a letter.  Like... put a stamp on it, and toss it in the mailbox- letter.  He claimed it was just because he wanted to write a real letter to someone.  And that it wasn’t a big deal.  But I feel like anything that comes in the mail via personal correspondence is kind of a big deal.  And now I’m DYING to know what it says.  E-mail has trained me to expect instant gratification in all things.  If you send it- it’s instantaneously received. Ah well.  The waiting game begins.

This time of year is a bit depressing, with Valentine's Day coming up.  It really forces me to look back on every relationship I've had (for the record, I've only been single two out of the last TEN valentine's days.  Yup, twice in a decade.) and wax nostalgic about all of them.  Good old Ben.  

-V

fashion report

with fashion week right around the corner, I'd like to take a moment to visit what i loved about winter 08/09 before it is gone...

Loving the return of feminine and vintage-inspired. Dolce & Gabbana’s new lipstick line and ads feature their deep red lip colors paired with bold lashes and soft curls. They’ve also done a new line of vintage-inspired lingerie -- which is fabulously sexy! (My favorite new ad features Scarlett Johansson looking very Marilyn Monroe! http://www.popcrunch.com/scarlett-johansson-dolce-gabbana-makeup-ad-photo/

Bravo D&G!

Speaking of vintage, I’m ecstatic about the return of the hourglass! I love dresses and skirts with a distinct 40s and 50s feel, with sweetheart necklines, knee-length hemlines and round toe pumps. Love wide belts cinched at the natural waist, headbands and pearls. (Always love to watch the streets of NYC after a new episode of Mad Men (and sometimes Gossip Girl airs... )

Love ruffles in soft chiffon that just float away from the body, particularly parts of the Spring 2009 Blumarine collection. These dresses are soft, floaty, and magical – a Midsummer Night’s Dream collection if I ever saw one.


And on the opposite side of the spectrum...

Python accessories! Love them in neutrals and BRIGHT BOLD COLORS like red, turquoise, and even pink (and i usually don’t like pink)
LOVE LOVE LOVE the new Louboutin python pumps (especially the cracked-out pair with the lace-up ankle cuff!)
Loving big & chunky gladiator-inspired leather heels, and booties (especially with a perfect pair of straight leg jeans).

Leather biker jackets (loving my new Cole Haan jacket especially!)

Loving all things Gothic-Inspired...
Loving the black, dark purple, or deep burgundy-red
Love the texture from lace overlay and silk mixed with more structured fabrics like heavy knits and synthetics (I’ve even seen some great taffeta thrown in there!) I’m loving black corset-style tops, especially when mixed with other heavier/chunkier pieces.
Dolce & Gabbana, Valentino, Lavin, and Cavalli had some great pieces in the winter 2008/09 collections.
The Rodarte winter 2008/09 line – inspired by Japanese horror films and Kabuki theatre. Absolutely love it!

I’m loving menswear worn as women’s wear, particularly tuxedo shirt pleating – the slightly edgier cousin of the ruffle. I bought a sleeveless black pleated top last spring and am still wearing it and loving it! I’m loving tuxedo jackets and vests worn with little underneath. And I continue my love affair with men’s hats.

“I love the idea of a woman dressing in men’s clothes and having the confidence to play with her sexuality” – Ricardo Tisci, Givenchy—

Statement Shoes –
“Designing statment shoes is about creating an emotional response; they should make you think with your heart, not your head” –Jonathan Kelsey—

And that’s so true! This Spring’s statement shoes hurt your feet if you even LOOK at them too long. But Pierre Hardy has some amazing shoes out, as does Manolo Blahnik.

Happy Shopping!

greetings all.

first of all, let me say that I am completely psyched about the weather. (and i don't care what people say. a stawberry milkshake and fries is a perfectly acceptable lunch!)

love the weather -- it's warm, it's sunny, and i can finally wear my new leather jacket! yay. this is actually quite convenient because i have plans tonight and now i can wear my super cool leather jacket with my super cool skirt and not friggen freeze to death. short skirt weather. at last.

BUT

i must say that just because it's getting warmer out DOES NOT mean that stockings/pantyhose ARE LEGGINGS! AND LEGGINS ARE NOT PANTS! i am so sick of girls running around in tunic tops with stockings on. if you can see the "control top" band at the top of your thigh, THEY AREN'T PANTS!!!

(sidenote: i work downtown so i'm constantly surrounded by wanna-be trendster-fashionistas who take their "look" right off the screens of mtv reatlity shows. i mean, come on!)

And speaking of fashion...
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/fashion/article5675514.ece

favorite quote: “I always wear heels in the snow. They keep me warm because my feet are further away from the frost.”

awesome. but more on that later.

On another topic:

is it just me or did youtube purge a lot of music videos? i went looking for dream on -- depeche mode and COULD NOT find it. nor could i find under the table and dreaming --dmb. sad. very sad.

ok, better run. office life is calling me.

xoxo
g

First Blog

We are two professionally-young women in two cities on the east coast of the once-again-cool US.

And we started a blog.

Because... in chatting to each other all day on google-chat, we realized three things:
1) We are hilarious.
2) We are smarter than 95% of the people we know.
3) Our stories, thoughts, and opinions need a wider audience than gchat. (Not to knock gchat. It's the main reason I've not yet perished from lack of brain stimulation at my current job.)

This could be the beginning of a beautiful blogship. (also, we like puns.)

Cheers,

V