today, without even knowing it, in 2 cities, 200 miles apart, 2 friends sat down and had the exact same lunch.

and it was gooood....

dear ex-boyfriend,

if you broke up with me, you no longer have the right to comment on my facebook status.

and furthermore, you are not allowed to call me by the acronym that my initials produce.

thank you,
g

Little Drops of Rain, Whisper of the Pain

Outwardly, I'm kind of cynical.  Ok, I'm REALLY cynical.  Skeptical.  Sarcastic.  Snarky, at times.

It's a classic protectionary front to cover up that soft gooey sensitive romantic inside.  I roll my eyes at romantic comedies because they serve as the modern day fairy tale: unrealistic though painfully formulaic but I still watch them.

Joke's on me, I guess.  Because I seem to be caught right in the middle of some twisted version of When Harry Met Sally.  

An ex-boyfriend from four years ago has recently gotten in touch (see the post "I'm Gonna Write You a Letter. I'm gonna Write you a Book.") and informed me that he's changed a ton since we split, and wants me back in his life.  WHAT?!    Heavy insinuations that maybe we could try again if I happened to move to his city for grad school (where I AM applying, but STILL).  

And I'm not in that place right now.  I've had two and a half very serious relationships (we'll discuss the half at a later point...) since him.  I've graduated college, moved out of my parents' house, gotten several jobs, lived on my own... I'm not the same person anymore.  And don't get me started on the long line of people who would be outside my house, ready to kick my ass if I ever even considered it.

The thing is... part of me is totally heartbroken over it.  Because this is Ben.  He flew across an ocean to be with me when we weren't even dating.  He's "a real sucker for a grand sweeping gesture."  In his words,  "I burn bridges and then I swim across rivers.  Once you're in my life, you're in my life."  And part of me wants so badly to get caught up in the romanticism of it all.  What a great story!  What an epic adventure!  It's cinematic, it's drama.  It's everything I typically gravitate towards in life.  

  But I was there when we made out a little a few weeks ago.  I was present and in that moment... and I can say... that I didn't really feel that much.  The spark is gone.  I haven't been sitting around for three and a half years thinking, "Damn, if only Ben and I could get back together.  We could really make it work."  or even "I'll always be in love with Ben."  Not that it doesn't take two to wreck a relationship, but I definitely place most of the blame on him.  And he places the blame on himself.  The timing was shitty, our lives were too different, and compromise was an incomprehensible and strange Japanese-sounding word to him.  So he has a lot of regret... and hasn't had another relationship of that caliber since.  And... maybe has reached a rough point in life, and wants to fix something.

I don't know. 

It's a lot of details.  A lot of little things adding up to this crazy out of the blue scenario.  I should totally forget about it, and be firm.  But what can I say?  I've always had a soft spot for B.  I want him to be happy.  I just don't think that dating me for the THIRD TIME around will make him happy.  At least not in the long run.

cheers,

v

oscars

thoughts on the oscars...

hmmm.. what to say...

i was so unbelievably bored at times that i began channel surfing. LUCKILY there was an ANTM marathon on and i tuned in just in time for the “YOU HAD SEX?!?! You had sex?!? You stupid bitch!” phone call from season 2. ahh.. quality television.

hugh jackman was great, but there weren’t really any big moments this year. the closest thing was when winslet won and her father whistled so she knew where he was. everything else was just kinda... blah. sean penn had some great comments (and looked great, too!)

felt bad for jennifer aniston who had to stare down brangelina as she presented. now come on, that’s just not fair. presenting has gotta be nerve-racking enough, you shouldn’t have to stare down your ex and his wife. (but i will say, i was happy to see them in classic “them” outfits. aniston in a strapless champagne with her natural and wavy “i just stepped off the beach and yet my hair looks PERFECT” hair. and jolie in her rocks the size of those kids from mumbai paired with the closest thing she’s gotten to a vampy dress in years. if you’ve got that many tats, show ‘em off!

and i must say... rob pattison smolders... he actually smolders.
(BUT the shot of him sitting behind mickey rourke looking exactly the same as rourke was just plain creepy. same body positioning, same look on the face.... not a good thing my friend, not a good thing. you do NOT want to be mickey rourke. if your face gets busted, you’re done. smoldering really is your only skill.)

onto a VERY brief bit on the fashions of the night...

Yay!
Megan Mylan’s dress rocked. simple, classic and beautiful. i think my absolute favorite of the night.
**for those of you who don’t remember her, she won for best short doc. (“smile pinky”).
kate winslet --a little too blonde/tan for my taste, but she still looked stunning. and even more stunning standing up there grabbing her oscar.
reese witherspoon – in rodarte. and we all know i LOVE the winter Rodarte line (see a previous post for more info). i know a lot didn't like it, but i did. so there!
taraji henson – see also: “white, layers, and train DONE RIGHT!”
penelope cruz- see also: “vintage, couture DONE RIGHT!”

Yuck!
SJP– you are not a bride nor are you prom queen. At your age, you look ridiculous. Grow the F up please.
jessica biel—it’s the oscars for cryin out loud! get a haircut!
heidi klum. what did coco say? “before you leave the house take off 1 piece” – she should’ve taken off 5... and i just didn't really like the dress either. at least not for the oscars.
miley cyrus – aka "slutty sells seashells by the seashore"-- honey, that gown should’ve stayed ON THE RACK.
vanessa what’s her face – you ARE NOT barbie in the spotlight.
anne hathaway-- kinda love her but... i just wasn’t feeling it. looked a little too fishy and way washed out. she's way prettier than that.

ok, that's it for now, when i think of more thoughts i'll let you know.

xoxo
g

last weekend, while having drinks with someone we started talking about woody allen’s manhattan.

all the usual stuff... it’s a classic, i love it, blah blah blah.

so last night i decided to watch it. and i’ll be damned.. i really do love that movie.

love love love the first few minutes. completely chock-full of great lines.

“He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion. Uh, no. Make that: He romanticized it all out of proportion."

“I think the essence of art is to provide a kind of working-through situation, so that you can get in touch with feelings you didn't know you had”

and it just keeps going from there.
i had almost forgotten how much i love that movie...

thanks woody allen, thanks.

xoxo
g

quick question...
how many little black dresses is too many??
can one HAVE too many?

xoxo
g

triskadecaphobia

quite a few years ago (how many, i will not say) i turned 13. on a friday. on a friday the 13th, actually.
and it was fantastic.
and since then 13 has always been pretty good too me.

and today i got to have lunch with 2 friends i've known since grade school. love catching up with old friends.

so happy friday the 13th everyone.

have a great weekend.
don't do anything i wouldn't do...

xoxo
g

FB

I do love Facebook.  And I agree with G.  There should be a certain level of ... formality involved in an ask-out.  Facebook walls and messages (though the latter would be more acceptable) are no forum for date-making.

That said... do you ever find yourself staring at someone's profile wishing they were slightly more interesting?  I find myself thinking... Why don't you have more telling wall-posts?  Better pictures?  Friends whose profiles I'm allowed to see even though they aren't my friend and not even in my network.  I want to read the other side of these conversations!  Why isn't your work info, and college graduation year listed?  What year were you born?  And why hasn't anything been happening on your profile for the past few days?  I check it because I'm looking for entertainment!  

:sigh:

I probably just need a new job to hold my attention.  

cheers,

-v

Q: when did it become socially acceptable to ask people out via facebook? everyone seems to be getting asked out by these wall-posting message-sending guys! what happened to a phone call? is it really too much to ask? would it kill you to pick up a phone? and it’s not just facebook. it’s the texting and emailing too. a 5 minute phone call could sort out all the details that an entire day’s worth of back-and-forth messaging accomplishes. sorry, but i have better things to do with my time... as i’m sure you do too.

you'll kiss her but you won't call her?
lame...
come on guys, step up to the plate.

xoxo
g

trouble on the train...

Tuesday morning.
My alarm doesn’t go off so I’m already 45 minutes late for work.
Super.

I finally get my sluggish ass on the subway and am 1 stop away from work when i am informed that my local train is now an express train. i repeat: super.

trying to side-step around the rather large man in front of me i offer up an “excuse me”. no response, i offer up a slightly louder and more assertive “excuse me” while making forward movement to the doors.

and then

WHAM!
SMACK!
and i take a rather large elbow to my face/jaw. OWW.

the man turns around, looks me dead in the eye and laughs. no “are you ok?”, no apology, nothing! just laughter.

stunned into silence i can already feel the tears threatening to spill and my jaw throbbing. “stand clear of the closing doors please” sets me into a panic. I’m already late for work so i sort of stumble out of the car and onto the platform. i can see him staring at me through the doors laughing as people around him just stare. at him, at me, at the absurdity of it all.

i mean, when did it become funny to slam a woman in the face?! when did it no longer even require an apology? that’s crap! and maybe i’m crazy, but that seems like something unfortunately typical of new york. its just disgusting --only in new york would the guy turn around and LAUGH while everyone just stands there staring at their starbucks.

ugh...
i love my city and all, but sometimes it makes me want to make like baz lurhman and "live in new york city once, but leave before it makes you hard"

ugh...
g

I'm Gonna Write You A Letter... I'm Gonna Write You A Book...

Ben and I dated for three years ... with a nice healthy seven month break in the middle for me to go to Ireland, and for him to learn how to be a better boyfriend.  It was complicated and emotional.  When it was good it was great.  And when it was bad... well, ya know.

He was in town, and asked to stay with me one night of his trip.  Thinking that we were past all the romance and break up drama, and in all essence, “buds,” I agreed. 

As any outsider might have predicted, there were some shenanigans of sorts when he was here.  Completely unexpected and accidental.  I was actually sick as a dog – coughing up lungs left and right – so in my half-asleep stupor, I’m not totally sure what I said afterwards.  But he got offended and went to sleep on the couch.  We didn’t say much about it the next morning, and went our separate ways.  Meaning he left, and I stayed in bed with the ebola virus I had somehow acquired.

That background info is necessary because a few days later, we had a huge talk (online, how mature) about how he never really put me in the past, and how he’s now realized and understood everything I  was telling him then, but he wasn’t digesting at the time.  I guess the whole thing gave me some peace of mind... but so many years later it’s kind of like “Well... ok cool.  Thanks for keeping me posted...”  We made no further plans to get back together or anything. 

So we send each other the occasional friendly text.  He’s a good 8 hours away, driving from me, and wants me to come visit at some point.  Which I think I will.  I have family near him and will be interviewing for grad schools up there as well. 

He told me today that he wrote me a letter.  Like... put a stamp on it, and toss it in the mailbox- letter.  He claimed it was just because he wanted to write a real letter to someone.  And that it wasn’t a big deal.  But I feel like anything that comes in the mail via personal correspondence is kind of a big deal.  And now I’m DYING to know what it says.  E-mail has trained me to expect instant gratification in all things.  If you send it- it’s instantaneously received. Ah well.  The waiting game begins.

This time of year is a bit depressing, with Valentine's Day coming up.  It really forces me to look back on every relationship I've had (for the record, I've only been single two out of the last TEN valentine's days.  Yup, twice in a decade.) and wax nostalgic about all of them.  Good old Ben.  

-V

fashion report

with fashion week right around the corner, I'd like to take a moment to visit what i loved about winter 08/09 before it is gone...

Loving the return of feminine and vintage-inspired. Dolce & Gabbana’s new lipstick line and ads feature their deep red lip colors paired with bold lashes and soft curls. They’ve also done a new line of vintage-inspired lingerie -- which is fabulously sexy! (My favorite new ad features Scarlett Johansson looking very Marilyn Monroe! http://www.popcrunch.com/scarlett-johansson-dolce-gabbana-makeup-ad-photo/

Bravo D&G!

Speaking of vintage, I’m ecstatic about the return of the hourglass! I love dresses and skirts with a distinct 40s and 50s feel, with sweetheart necklines, knee-length hemlines and round toe pumps. Love wide belts cinched at the natural waist, headbands and pearls. (Always love to watch the streets of NYC after a new episode of Mad Men (and sometimes Gossip Girl airs... )

Love ruffles in soft chiffon that just float away from the body, particularly parts of the Spring 2009 Blumarine collection. These dresses are soft, floaty, and magical – a Midsummer Night’s Dream collection if I ever saw one.


And on the opposite side of the spectrum...

Python accessories! Love them in neutrals and BRIGHT BOLD COLORS like red, turquoise, and even pink (and i usually don’t like pink)
LOVE LOVE LOVE the new Louboutin python pumps (especially the cracked-out pair with the lace-up ankle cuff!)
Loving big & chunky gladiator-inspired leather heels, and booties (especially with a perfect pair of straight leg jeans).

Leather biker jackets (loving my new Cole Haan jacket especially!)

Loving all things Gothic-Inspired...
Loving the black, dark purple, or deep burgundy-red
Love the texture from lace overlay and silk mixed with more structured fabrics like heavy knits and synthetics (I’ve even seen some great taffeta thrown in there!) I’m loving black corset-style tops, especially when mixed with other heavier/chunkier pieces.
Dolce & Gabbana, Valentino, Lavin, and Cavalli had some great pieces in the winter 2008/09 collections.
The Rodarte winter 2008/09 line – inspired by Japanese horror films and Kabuki theatre. Absolutely love it!

I’m loving menswear worn as women’s wear, particularly tuxedo shirt pleating – the slightly edgier cousin of the ruffle. I bought a sleeveless black pleated top last spring and am still wearing it and loving it! I’m loving tuxedo jackets and vests worn with little underneath. And I continue my love affair with men’s hats.

“I love the idea of a woman dressing in men’s clothes and having the confidence to play with her sexuality” – Ricardo Tisci, Givenchy—

Statement Shoes –
“Designing statment shoes is about creating an emotional response; they should make you think with your heart, not your head” –Jonathan Kelsey—

And that’s so true! This Spring’s statement shoes hurt your feet if you even LOOK at them too long. But Pierre Hardy has some amazing shoes out, as does Manolo Blahnik.

Happy Shopping!

greetings all.

first of all, let me say that I am completely psyched about the weather. (and i don't care what people say. a stawberry milkshake and fries is a perfectly acceptable lunch!)

love the weather -- it's warm, it's sunny, and i can finally wear my new leather jacket! yay. this is actually quite convenient because i have plans tonight and now i can wear my super cool leather jacket with my super cool skirt and not friggen freeze to death. short skirt weather. at last.

BUT

i must say that just because it's getting warmer out DOES NOT mean that stockings/pantyhose ARE LEGGINGS! AND LEGGINS ARE NOT PANTS! i am so sick of girls running around in tunic tops with stockings on. if you can see the "control top" band at the top of your thigh, THEY AREN'T PANTS!!!

(sidenote: i work downtown so i'm constantly surrounded by wanna-be trendster-fashionistas who take their "look" right off the screens of mtv reatlity shows. i mean, come on!)

And speaking of fashion...
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/fashion/article5675514.ece

favorite quote: “I always wear heels in the snow. They keep me warm because my feet are further away from the frost.”

awesome. but more on that later.

On another topic:

is it just me or did youtube purge a lot of music videos? i went looking for dream on -- depeche mode and COULD NOT find it. nor could i find under the table and dreaming --dmb. sad. very sad.

ok, better run. office life is calling me.

xoxo
g

First Blog

We are two professionally-young women in two cities on the east coast of the once-again-cool US.

And we started a blog.

Because... in chatting to each other all day on google-chat, we realized three things:
1) We are hilarious.
2) We are smarter than 95% of the people we know.
3) Our stories, thoughts, and opinions need a wider audience than gchat. (Not to knock gchat. It's the main reason I've not yet perished from lack of brain stimulation at my current job.)

This could be the beginning of a beautiful blogship. (also, we like puns.)

Cheers,

V